The Truth About The Hobbit – Part 2: The Puppet Master Revealed


who controls the hobbit part 2WARNING: This article contains TRUTH that some SHEEPLE may find disturbing.

In part one of our earth-shattering exposé on the truth behind Peter Jackson’s adaptation of The Hobbit, we shockingly presented a revisionist (and true) interpretation of what the story is really about. To recap:

  • The dragon, Smaug, occupied the dwarf fortress in the first place to prevent them from dumping a load of gold into the economy and crashing the monetary system.
  • Smaug is a hero.
  • Bilbo Baggins, the dwarves and the elves were all conned into the quest to expel Smaug from the dwarves’ fortress.
  • Gandalf is a con man.

In part two we will explore Gandalf’s motives and expose the power that controls him.

As mentioned, Gandalf conned a bunch of people into signing up to his crusade to expel the heroic dragon from the dwarves’ mountain home.

It’s possible, nay, probable, that once this is achieved, the dwarves will go on a mad spending spree. They’ve more or less lived impoverished lives since leaving their homes, so they’ve probably all built up extensive shopping lists for when they get their loot back. But beyond their personal consumptive impulses, the dwarves as a people have probably been writing a lot of cheques with their mouths while wandering in the wilderness; “Mate, if you lend me your army I’ll pay you loads, just as soon as I evict this workshy dragon from our gaff in the mountain.” Regaining their gold reserves, their asses would now have to cash those cheques, resulting in a flood of gold into the Middle-earth economy, which, as we explained in part 1, would cause massive inflation, which would probably lead to panic buying, hoarding, social unrest, famine, war, etc…

Does Gandalf recognise this? That the jolly-boys quest he has arranged might cripple the monetary system? Maybe, maybe not. But it’s actually by-the-by, because Gandalf serves a more powerful master.

In all this talk of The Hobbit, there’s one faction we have ignored until now: the orcs.

The Hobbit Battle of Five Armies Peter JacksonThe orcs, lead by Azog, who’s got a bit of a lob on for the leader of the dwarves since he cut his arm off, is out to kill the dwarves and take their fortress for himself. So, the orcs’ means might differ to the dwarves, but their ultimate ends are the same: to get the gold.

While the leader of the orcs has the aforementioned lob on, he is also geed on by another source. Someone who encourages him, gives him some hints and tips, and basically plays the role of the guy saying “mate, don’t know if you know, but dwarves been chatting shit about you. You gonna fill him in?”

So who’s the one stoking this fire? That rascal, Gandalf, again? No. The orcs are a larger force and the person directing them is correspondingly more powerful than Gandalf: Sauron.

So, with different means but the same goal (controlling the gold supply), Gandalf and Sauron have their proxies heading to the dwarf fortress. So is Sauron orchestrating Gandalf’s actions? No. They’re on the same side, but clearly also opponents.

There is a force greater than both of them calling the shots. A puppet master even deeper in the shadows than either of them with greater reach and grander plans. Who could control two powerful people like Gandalf and Sauron? Who would want to destroy the economy of Middle-earth? Who would think that they could benefit from a ruined financial system?

Have you guessed who it is yet?


Then prepare to have your mind blown with the final revelation. We’re about to pull back the curtain and reveal the wizard (figuratively, I mean, not like Gandalf and the other ones… it’s a reference to Wizard of Oz, okay?!)

the hobbit illuminati lurminati

That’s right the Illuminati control the story in The Hobbit.

Pick yourself up off the floor and take a moment to compose yourself.

It’s obvious now, isn’t it. Like the financial system, world governments, sports and rap music, the people really pulling the strings in The Hobbit, in Middle-earth, are the Illuminati. No doubt they plan to create total chaos in the Middle-earth economic system then step in and reshape it with their own institutions and systems, possibly even with their own currency (Bilbo Dollars, for example). No doubt they even have plans to set up a Hobbit version of MTV, too.

Still not convinced? Still huddling with the rest of the sheeple in denial?! Then how about this:

Bilderberg Group > Bilbo

Coincidence? You decide.

Don’t believe us though? Think all these years sat in a damp basement with a single 30 watt bulb for illumination, writing about short films and filmmaking has finally sent us completely insane? Well we put this to you, if they can get to Nicolas Cage, they can get to anyone.

nicolas cage national treasure illuminati

But seriously, wtf is going on with Nic Cage’s face here?



About Author

David Price is the editor of Gorilla Film Online and co-writer/co-producer of MarsCorp and The Bunker podcasts. He has made a number of short films and has watched more than 12 feature films. Writers/con-artists can contact him at daveprice at

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